Noisy Neighbor Sex Survey Results 

Although two-thirds of apartment dwellers overheard a neighbor having sex and more than half wished they hadn't, almost none complained.

However, you may still want to muzzle your moans if you find it creepy that nearly a fifth of those we surveyed become aroused by their neighbors' mating sounds.

1. You are probably not as quiet as you think.

Of 407 people surveyed, 68 percent reported hearing a neighbor having sex. The specific sounds overheard were generically reminiscent of Halloween: Thumping (60%), moaning (56%), screaming (28%) and “other” (23%).


2. One neighbor’s audio porn is another one's nuisance.

Just how did the survey-takers feel about these erotic soundtracks?
Twenty-six percent claimed indifference, while others reported feeling aroused (16%), annoyed (19%), jealous (19%), disgusted (11%) or anxious (9%).

For example, relayed by one of our interns-on-the-street:
Intern: “How does hearing your neighbors in bed make you feel?”
Woman: “Jealous.”
Man, concerned: “Really?”
Intern: “Have your neighbors ever complained about you having loud sex?”
Woman, blunt and dejected: “NO.”
“It was sad,” relays the eye-witness intern. “I can almost guarantee that when they went home that night, they let go of all inhibitions and rocked the house. Or broke up.”

Even though more than half of the respondents owned up to a negative reaction, 89 percent said they had never complained to their neighbor, the management or a staff member.

“I would be afraid they might complain about me,” elaborated a twenty something woman on the Lower East Side.


3. Nighttime is not necessarily the right time.

Most people reported overhearing their neighbors’ sex in the evening (29%) or the middle of the night (46%).

A third would prefer that loud fornicators do their thing in the afternoon; others voted for the evening (20%) and the middle of the night (35%)--except for one enthusiastic respondent who noted that she would like her neighbors to have sex all the time.

Note to early risers: Almost no one wants to hear you in the morning (12%).


4. What goes around comes around.

While most people (88%) said they’d never been on the receiving end of a loud-sex complaint, about a quarter admitted that they try to keep quiet, while a third said it depended on their blood alcohol content.

"I'm normally not loud, but if I'm drinking, it's not until the next morning that I'm actually terrified about what my neighbors heard," one Lower East Side woman said.

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What Is The Law Of Human Attraction? 

"Opposites attract" is a law of attraction, at least where electromagnetism is concerned. But are there laws about attraction between two people? In a world that is full of strangers as a line in a famous song of the 1980's goes, is there a clear set of rules that allows two people to fall for each other?

Is attraction a matter of chemistry?
Maybe. According to scientists, the attraction between animals of the opposite sex is all about chemicals called pheromones. The effect of pheromones in behavior of insects is the most studied to date. It has been observed, at least in some experiments, that pheromones are responsible for communication among same species and colony of ants. The horrible odor released by skunks to ward off enemies is said to be a kind of pheromone. Some species of apes rub pheromone-containing urine on the feet of potential mates to attract them. Some scientists believe that animals (usually the females) such as insects and mammals send out these chemical signals to tell the male of their species that their genes are different from theirs. This gene diversity is important in producing offspring with better chances of survival. The perfume industry has capitalized on pheromones as a means to increase one's sexual attractiveness to the opposite sex. Animals such as the whale and the musk deer were hunted down for these chemicals.

Lately, scientists are looking into the existence of human pheromones and its role in mate selection. There are many conflicting views in the realm of biology, chemistry, genetics, and psychology. Most scientists would assert that these do not exist, or if they do, do not play a role in sexual attraction between a man and a woman. But new research such as that conducted by Swiss researchers from the University of Bern led by Klaus Wedekind are slowly making these scientists rethink their stand. Their experiment involved women sniffing the cotton shirts of different men during their ovulation period. It was found out that women prefer the smell of mens shirts that were genetically different, but also shared similarities with the women's genes. This, like in the case of insects and other mammals, was to ensure better and healthier characteristics for their future children. But researchers also cautioned that preference for a male odor is affected by the women's ovulation period, the food that men eat, perfumes and other scented body products, and the use of contraceptive pills.

Does personality figure in sexual attraction?
Yes, but so does your perception of a potential mate's personality. According to research conducted by Klohnen & S. Luo in 2003 on interpersonal attraction and personality, a persons sense of self-security and at least the persons perception of his/her partner were found to be strong determinants of attraction in hypothetical situations. What does this tell us? We prefer a certain personality type, which attracts you to a person. But aside from the actual personality of the person, which can only be verified through close interaction through time, it is your perception of your potential partner that attracts you to him/her, whether the person of your affection truly has that kind of personality or not. This could probably account for a statement commonly heard from men and women on their failed relationships:
I thought he/she was this kind of person.

So how does attraction figure in relationships?
You have probably heard that attraction is a prelude, or a factor towards a relationship. Most probably, at least in the beginning; but attraction alone cannot make a relationship work. It is that attraction that makes you notice a person from the opposite sex, but once you get to know the person more, attraction is just one consideration. Shared values, dreams, and passions become more significant in long-term relationships.


Should I stop trying to become attractive?
More than trying to become physically attractive, work on all aspects of your health: physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual. Physical attraction is still a precursor. Remember, biology predisposes us to choose the partner with the healthiest genes. Where your emotions are concerned, just ask this to yourself: would you want to spend time with a person who feels insecure about him/herself? Probably not! There is wisdom in knowing yourself: who you are, your beliefs, values, and dreams. And do not pretend to be someone you are not. Fooling another person by making him/her think that you share the same values and beliefs is only going to cause you both disappointments. When you are healthy in all aspects, attractiveness becomes a consequence and not an end. As mentioned in the Klohnen and Luo's research, a person’s sense of self-security matters, perhaps even beyond attraction. But remember: do these things for yourself and not for other people. Only then can you truly harness your attractiveness as a person.

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Winning The Dating Game. Here's 10 Essential, Easy Dating Rules for Your Success 

1) Leave the mobile phone off! Do not answer it if it is on Silent either. You should only do this if you are expecting an emergency and I mean an emergency. You only look like a deadhead, self-centered fool answering a phone at a meeting that is important and that goes for all meetings. It's inconsiderate and breeds contempt from the other party even if they agree to you answering it. They're only being polite which you're not, if you do have a ringing phone and answer it. This does not mean leave it at home - you may need it later.

2) Don't smoke anything in the presence of others unless they also smoke and for goodness sake make sure that no one near you is eating. Never smoke in an area where people are eating even if they smoke. You would be a fool to smoke in the presence of your date when they didn't smoke. If you're smart, it may be time to think about not smoking in their presence again.

3) A good rule is not to talk about your achievements unless you are asked. Bragging is more often frowned upon and puts people off early. Show some interest in your date and their hobbies achievements and interests. If you do this regularly enough, it will become a habit and your good social skills will become very obvious to others including your date.

4) Find some way to compliment them. This is good practice even if you don't think this person is right for you. What goes around comes around! This is also a great building block for social skills improvement.

5) Smart casual attire is always good for the first date. Girls - don't go over the top with jewelry. It looks crass and sometimes cheap! Subtlety is the name of the game here. Boys - don't swear or cuss. It only indicates ignorance and sometimes stupidity. It does not make you look tough. Your actions and the way you deal with life will show how tough you are quickly enough. Most people can find an adjective somewhere in their vocabulary to describe things. You'll find that you can too!

6) Most girls like to be respected and despite their eye lashes fluttering away in some scenarios, they are generally quite bright and one step ahead of you. The more you treat them like your equal in conversation, the more quickly you will identify a good match for you or not.

7) Most guys like to have interest shown in their achievements or interests. In fact, you could just focus on this for the whole date and be safe if you wanted to.

8) Eat like a human being - don't scarf down the food like it's your last meal. Don’t fill up. This will ensure that you can feel good about doing something after you've dined i.e. dancing, a walk or even consider going to a different venue for coffee, dessert, dancing or a drink. Mixing your venues often displays varying behavior. If your date starts to swing from a chandelier after one drink you may want to consider the future carefully.

9) Guys - if you enjoyed your date, say so at the end of the evening. Follow up with a thoughtful gift such as flowers to her place of work or her doorstep. It does NOT have to be expensive. The surprise is what counts here along with the fact that you have obviously thought about her since the date. Hand write the card and leave a phone number she can catch you on.

10) Girls - try not to make yourself too available at the end of your first date. But make your feelings clear with an element of subtlety. Whatever you do not ask him if he will call again. Your mind set must be one of value and that if doesn't call then there will be another who will.

One more thing - on your first few dates never and I mean never get in a discussion of old boy friends or girlfriends, ex wives or husbands, or anything to do with these issues - Never!

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Here's 6 Things You Shouldn't Do When Dating Online 

1- When conversing through e-mail, don't write your life story.
Nothing turns off a woman more than a man who can't shut up. If you don't believe it, the next time you're corresponding with a woman you've met online, write a one-page e-mail about what you like to do on weekends, and see what kind of response you get.. Nine times out of 10, a woman won't even reply to you. She'll simply delete your e-mail and move on to the next guy. Why is that?

First, women usually perceive a long-winded man as needy. And most women want a challenge. Needy men aren't challenging. Second, quite frankly, women want to do all of the talking. And they want you to listen.

What to do: Keep all your e-mail replies short (i.e. no longer than three sentences). The first two sentences should be used for answering a question (or questions) she may have asked, and the last sentence should be reserved for asking her a question.

Remember: Questions keep the 'dialogue' moving, and give her the sense that you are thoughtful and interested.

2- Don't initiate sexual talk. Many women think men have nothing but sex on brain. Though there is some truth to this statement, you'll get further in the game by not hinting at or talking about sex.
Besides, in this politically correct world, who wants to take the chance of offending women with sex talk, especially if you don't know them well?

What to do: Just don't do it. In fact, you'd be surprised by how many women will actually initiate a conversation about sex. When a woman initiates talk about sex, consider that a green light, though your comments should be very well thought out. Besides, if you're looking for aggressive sexual dialogue with a woman, there are plenty of 'adult' personal sites that cater to that like Fleshpot.

3- Don't lie. It's a known fact that a significant percentage of men and women lie about themselves, whether it's about marital status, income, education level or occupation, when it comes to creating an online profile of themselves.

It's true that the lies will catch up with you, sooner rather than later. And if you find a woman who is really interested in you, and you've lied to her, it's just a matter of time before she finds out the truth.

What to do: If you think your income is too low, or if your occupation isn't exactly exciting, simply 'up-sell' other qualities about yourself. Focus on the good instead. Never lie to impress a woman. Ever.

4- Don't send too many e-mail or IM messages Again, you don't want to appear needy. One way to appear needy is by sending a woman three or four e-mail or IM messages a day.

Of course, if the e-mail or IM conversation is moving along at breakneck speed and is interesting and stimulating, then by all means, have a full-fledged dialogue with her. In other words, don't hold back. You may even try to close the deal right there and ask her out on a date. But if you're in the early stages where you're still in the process of getting to know each other, then I suggest keeping your interactions to a minimum.

What to do: I know it's difficult, especially if the woman is hot, but you have to be disciplined. Limit yourself to two e-mails per day, and keep streaming IM conversations to no longer than 15 minutes. If the dialogue exceeds this time, then excuse yourself and end the conversation, saying that you have some things to take care of -- and don't go into detail about it. By doing this, you'll remain mysterious, something that turns most women on.

5- Don't spread yourself too thin. One of the better problems to have with Internet dating is corresponding with too many women.

But What man doesn't want to be chased by dozens of beautiful women? But the way it works is, having an effective personal ad that generates a lot of responses can backfire on you if you're not careful.

For instance, in the past month, I've received 56 responses to my ad on AdultFriendFinder. That's a ton of women to e-mail. In fact, it's too many. Way too many.

If you try to reply to every single woman who responds to your ad, you'll soon find yourself spending your days writing e-mail. More importantly, you'll start forgetting what you've said and to whom. I can't tell you how many times I've been embarrassed because I asked a woman the same question four or five times.

What to do: Though I encourage you to be polite, you may find yourself physically unable to reply to every woman who has responded to your ad. In fact, I recommend that you don't reply to every woman who responds to your personal ad. Instead, if you're getting dozens of responses each week, only reply to the women you wish to pursue further. If these leads don't work out for you, then you can always go back to the other women you didn't reply to originally.

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