The first apartment I lived in was a weensy little studio, and my bedroom was right next to my neighbor's. The only thing separating our beds was a paper-thin wall. The couple was not only loud but also really wordy — kinda giving a play-by-play of the act — and the woman would yowl like a maniac at the end.
I thought it was fun the first time or two, but then the lack of sleep caused by their caterwauling got on my nerves. One particularly boisterous night, I yelled out, "She's faking it!" I don't think they had known that I was right next to them, and things quieted down after that. Not sure if a similar approach would work for you. Perhaps shout out some words of encouragement?
Hearing sex can be a little unnerving, because you can't help but get turned on. That can make you feel pervy, but it's completely natural. Our brains have these wacky things called mirror neurons that make us "mirror" the actions of people around us. Hence the contagious yawn.
Sex noises are a lot less stressful than hearing people screaming and fighting, or a dog barking all day long. Get yourself some earplugs or play some music when your neighbor is getting it on. If you really can't take it, write an anonymous note letting him know that, while you're glad he's enjoying a healthy sex life, you'd appreciate it if he could take the decibel level down a notch. Or, better yet, start having some loud sex of your own. That's the kind of shouting match I can get behind!
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Do you suspect that your wife is cheating on you? If you do, you are definitely not alone. Infidelity is actually quite common these days. You can see it all over television and almost everyone has known someone who has been cheated on, in one way or another.
If you are a husband who thinks that your wife is cheating on you, there are a number of signs that you will want to be on the lookout for. The following are four signs that could very well confirm your suspicions.
1 – A Change in Appearance
If your wife has gone through a change in appearance, it could be a sign that she is cheating on you. What you will want to look for is small, but significant changes in appearance.
For example, has she always worn glasses but has all of a sudden opted for contact lenses? Has your wife recently started showing more skin? Dressing provocatively is a common sign of cheating, especially if your wife typically dresses conservatively. Switching perfumes or wearing it more often can be another sign of cheating. This can be done to impress a new man or to cover up another man’s scent.
2 – A Change in Affection
A change in the amount of affection that your wife gives you could be seen as a sign of having an affair.
For example, has your love life been happy and healthy in the past? Was your relationship filled with fun, adventure, and great sex? If so, has that changed? If your wife no longer compliments you as she did before or does something as simple as pull away during a kiss, an affair may be going on. Many cheating women try to avoid close contact with their husbands in fear of getting caught or letting their guilt show.
3 – Secrecy
A wife becoming more secretive can often point to an extramarital affair.
For example, does your wife spend too much time on the phone or the internet? If so, what does she say when you ask her what she is doing? If you receive a “nothing,” or a “not your business,” response, something may be going on.
In keeping with phone and internet use, does your wife automatically hang-up the phone whenever you walk into a room? Does she shut off the computer or try to block your view of it? If so, your wife’s secrecy may mean that she is trying to cover up an affair.
4 – Changes in Bills
One of the simplest ways to catch a cheating wife is to start paying your bills.
In most relationships, this is the woman’s responsibility, but make it yours. Examine your wife’s cell phone bills. Does it show what phone numbers are called or what numbers text messages and pictures are received from? Also, closely examine credit card bills. Are there expenses listed for hotel rooms, vacations, restaurants, or anything else that you have no idea about? If so, your wife may be cheating on you.
The above mentioned signs are just a few of the many that you will want to look for in a cheating wife. If you think that your wife is cheating on you, just be sure to keep your eyes and ears open. Unfortunately for the cheaters, they often make mistakes. Many women get so comfortable, that they slip up at one time or another. If you know what to look for, this is when you may be able to catch your wife cheating.
If you do find out that your wife is cheating on you, you may want to carefully approach the subject. Never confront your wife in front of your children. No matter how angry you are, do not get violent and try to keep your voice at a reasonable level. As hard as it can be, calming approaching the situation can better allow you and your wife to have an honest discussion. This where you can decide what will happen you to and your relationship next.
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I’m at a loss as to what to do about my neighbors’ loud sex. I’ve written them a note, being kind, saying I can hear everything, but it is still as frequent and as loud. I get quite angry when they start having sex when I’m watching TV, or when I get woken early by the girlfriend moaning. Earplugs aren’t an option. I’m torn between feeling like I’m an intolerant neighbor, but also feeling quite violated in my space.
Try This:
Speak to your neighbors in person. You don’t have to be too specific. Simply say the walls are so thin you can hear everything. They will most likely respect your feelings of violation, so kindly and easily ask them to pipe it down.
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If you’re single, you’ve probably gone to a singles bar at some point in your life, hoping to make a love connection. But what determines whether tonight will be your lucky night? Chance? Kismet? Maybe. But most times it has more to do with skill than luck.
After hundreds of hours in bars, pubs and nightclubs—watching thousands of singles in action—I’ve unlocked the little-known secrets of finding romance at your favorite watering hole. In fact, my research was so successful, that I’m now able to walk into any bar, and within minutes, I can tell who is going to get lucky … and who is going home empty handed. Because let’s face it, there’s nothing better than the intoxicating butterflies that flutter in your stomach when your new love interest gives you that “morning after” phone call.
Catching those butterflies isn’t as hard as it seems. Whether you’re trying to enhance your dating life or meet the sweetheart of your dreams, there’s an art to scoring big at a bar. And believe it or not, you don’t have to be ravishingly beautiful to get lucky. You just need to know how to play the game so you come out ahead.
Yes, you read that right. Dating is a game. Just like chess, scoring big in a bar takes a winning strategy. Here’s an easy eight-step process that’ll help you score big in the love department. Because let’s face it, if you want the Monarch’s to be dancing in your belly tomorrow morning, you need to learn how to play the dating game pronto, before someone else beats you to the prize.
1. Look Your Best.
If you think about it, singles bars are called “meat markets” for a reason. You’re the “meat” and you have to display your wares to make “shoppers” want to buy. Grunge might be comfortable, but after age 25, the frumpy look won’t get you to first base.
Men, wearing a sports coat will give you a competitive advantage. Why? Because women like men who look successful and confident. By sporting a classier look than your brethren, you’ll come out on top. Women, I have three words for you: show some skin. Don’t even think about wearing a turtleneck to a bar.
Let’s face it, after 30, very few of us have the hard-bodied figures we once did, but that doesn’t mean you need to hide your assets. Even if you’re a little plump, it’s better to show your skin than to hide behind a bolt of frumpy fabric.
2. Limit Your Alcohol.
Although a drink or two can lower your inhibitions, drinking too much will send the wrong impression. And falling off the barstool is a definite no-no. If you tend to drink more when you’re nervous, try alternating between your favorite drink and a club soda with lime. No one has to know that there’s nothing stronger than carbonation in your drink!
3. Exude Confidence.
Self-confidence is crucial if you want to be lucky in love. If you have a swagger in your walk, and a cocky tilt to your chin, your Rolodex will bulge with prospects. So how do you exude confidence when you’re trembling inside?
There are two strategies that work well. First, fake it ’til you make it! Yes, that’s right, just pretend to have confidence, and amazingly, others will perceive you as self-confident. And then pretty soon, that confidence will be real.
Second, deal from strength. After all, you’re probably the best at something. Maybe you’re the smartest person in the room. Or maybe you know you can beat just about anyone at Backgammon. Or maybe you can solve complicated algorithms in your head. Maybe you’re a true native in a town of transplants. Whatever you’re good at, borrow that confidence, and when you walk into a bar, hold your head high knowing there’s no one else quite like you.
4. Cross the Great Divide.
Amazingly, I see both men and women who go to a bar or singles party in the hopes of meeting someone new, but then they spend the entire evening either by themselves or talking to the same-sex person they came with.
Newsflash: if you go to the trouble of being showered, shaved and cologned, you might as well take action. An important step in meeting someone new is actually saying hello. Instead of thinking, “I wish that person would come up and talk to me,” take the initiative and be the one who breaks the ice.
Something as simple as a smile and a hello will work just fine. Just let your feet do the walking, and break that invisible barrier between you and the person you want to meet. After all, you can’t meet someone new if you don’t even try. Just keep in mind that dating is a numbers game, and you may need to chat with more than one person before you make a love connection.
5. Be Friendly.
A sparkling personality is worth its weight in—well—drinks. If you’re naturally effervescent, keep it up, and it won’t be long before love finds you. If you’re not, it just takes a bit more work.
It helps to look good and feel great. Then keep a smile on your face and focus on other people. One key to being a great conversationalist is to ask interesting questions. Things like, “What do you do for a living?” And “Where are you from?” will spark other questions or things you have in common.
Another way to score points in the friendly category is to be up on current events. This doesn’t mean you have to be a news junkie, but it helps to be abreast of current topics. With 24-hour news stations and breaking news on the Internet, it shouldn’t take long to become well-versed in the topics du jour. Oh, one note of caution: unless someone’s political affiliation is a deal-breaker for you, stay away from politics and religion.
6. Men, Whip Out Your Wallet.
“Can I buy you a drink?” is a sure sign of interest. Being too cheap to ask will get you a cold shoulder, followed by a cold shower … alone.
This is where you need to walk a fine line. There are certainly women out there who want free drinks—and nothing else. So how can you tell the difference between a woman who is using you to get free drinks, and someone who is really interested? By reading her body language. Is she looking directly at you, with dilated pupils and unblinking eyes, or is she looking somewhere else? Is she leaning into you, or is she pulling away from you?
If her body language is positive, ask her if she’d like something to drink. Then, while you’re sharing your first drink together, exchange business cards. If she doesn’t have a card (or doesn’t want to give you one), ask for a way to contact her. If she’s hesitant to give an email address or cell phone number, chances are good that she has no intention of seeing you again, so put your wallet away and move on. If she readily gives you a way to contact her, you’ll score more points by being generous than by being frugal. And if you really want to score big, offer to call her a cab at the end of the evening, just to make sure she gets home okay.
7. Be Honest.
If you’re not interested in someone, it’s better to make a graceful exit that to waste that person’s time. Something as simple as, “I’ve enjoyed talking to you, but it’s time for me to go mingle,” lets the other person know that there you’re not seeing stars.
Honesty is always the best policy, because if you say you’re going to the bathroom and then never come back, you might end up with a stalker on your hands. If you’re the person being dumped, be gracious about it. Just because someone’s not interested in you right now, doesn’t mean things won’t change at some point in the future.
Because most of us tend to frequent the same places, chances are good that you may see that person again. Keep in mind that if you get angry and say something mean, you’ll never make it past “hello” next time, so it pays to be nice.
8. Have Fun.
Instead of putting unnecessary pressure on your big night out, give yourself a break. After all, tonight is only one night out of your life. Instead of having unrealistic expectations, grab a same-sex friend, and plan on having a good time. Without the pressure of having to find someone in five hours or less, you’re more likely to enjoy yourself.
Plus, when you’re laughing, talking and smiling, you’re more approachable than when you’re nervous or tense. After all, wouldn’t you rather chat with someone who’s laughing than someone who’s sitting in the corner alone, looking desperate and lonely?
Now that you know the eight easy steps to scoring big in a bar, get out there and do it. The first step toward winning the game is actually going out there and playing it. And just like any other game, this one takes practice. So if you don’t meet someone tonight, remember this … there’s always tomorrow!
(To Tryout these great tips, see Fleshpot)
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