Her noises literally torture me.
Here are your options in any situation (one of the options isn't available most of the time):
... But first! A bonus!
Wouldn’t you like to know the source of all problems? It’s three words… “This shouldn’t be.”
That may be helpful… but on to your options:
1. Accept it
2. Change it*
3. Leave it
4. Suffer
*Open to interpretation… kind of suggests changing the behavior/situation actually. But legally stopping your neighbor from making sounds of pleasure that are audible in your apartment sounds very challenging and basically outside your circle of influence. You could change your experience of it through Changing Your Habits or shifting the frame, etc., and that would fit a valid interpretation of 2.
Most people choose 4.
Ironically, people resist their current circumstances because they think, “If I accept my current circumstances, I’ll get stuck with my current circumstances!”
The opposite is true because, what you resist persists.
Suffering = Pain x Resistance
Want your Resistance to go to zero?
Choose it.
Choose the noisy moaner and your suffering disappears.
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Men and women flirt differently, for different reasons and expect different outcomes to the flirting. However, if you put aside that outcome and flirt just to be friendly you are opening yourself to different opportunities. You may well end up with a new lover but if that doesn’t work out you could meet someone who becomes a good friend and who knows who she might introduce you to. Keep your options open.
After you have exchanged glances and smiles across a room and you are fairly confident that SHE thinks that she might like to get to know you better, send a drink to her. But remember that ALL you are buying is a drink. Don’t expect her to fall at your feet. Sometimes it is nice just to send someone a drink, watch when she receives it and smile, then look away – look back again later to show your interest.
If you find yourself invited to her table, keep you mind on the conversation and not on getting a date with her. Most women want to know what kind of person they are going out with long before they actually go out with them. Make an effort to get to know her and give her the opportunity to get to know you before diving in for a date.
Do not ever approach two women in the same group. No woman wants to feel like second best. Refrain from approaching one after another in the same group. You look like a loser and the women may think you are desperate and looking for any port in a storm. Even if you are, don’t show it.
When you compliment a woman make certain that it is a genuine compliment. There’s nothing worse than someone giving out a load of overblown lines. Everyone has something great about them, notice that and compliment them genuinely.
Do not ever put your hands on a woman uninvited. Some women have no objection to ‘touchy feely’ encounters, others are horrified by it. Respect the person until you have had the opportunity to know more about her. Touching can be a lovely flirty action, but should be confined to the arms or resting the hand just above the arms and NOT touching, until you know more. Test the personal space by moving closer, noticing the reactions then moving back a little to remove the threat.
Respect yourself at all times. Women always fall for men who are that little bit unreachable. Don't hover or grovel or act desperate. Think of yourself as special and know what you deserve the very best.
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The first apartment I lived in was a weensy little studio, and my bedroom was right next to my neighbor's. The only thing separating our beds was a paper-thin wall. The couple was not only loud but also really wordy — kinda giving a play-by-play of the act — and the woman would yowl like a maniac at the end.
I thought it was fun the first time or two, but then the lack of sleep caused by their caterwauling got on my nerves. One particularly boisterous night, I yelled out, "She's faking it!" I don't think they had known that I was right next to them, and things quieted down after that. Not sure if a similar approach would work for you. Perhaps shout out some words of encouragement?
Hearing sex can be a little unnerving, because you can't help but get turned on. That can make you feel pervy, but it's completely natural. Our brains have these wacky things called mirror neurons that make us "mirror" the actions of people around us. Hence the contagious yawn.
Sex noises are a lot less stressful than hearing people screaming and fighting, or a dog barking all day long. Get yourself some earplugs or play some music when your neighbor is getting it on. If you really can't take it, write an anonymous note letting him know that, while you're glad he's enjoying a healthy sex life, you'd appreciate it if he could take the decibel level down a notch. Or, better yet, start having some loud sex of your own. That's the kind of shouting match I can get behind!
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Do you suspect that your wife is cheating on you? If you do, you are definitely not alone. Infidelity is actually quite common these days. You can see it all over television and almost everyone has known someone who has been cheated on, in one way or another.
If you are a husband who thinks that your wife is cheating on you, there are a number of signs that you will want to be on the lookout for. The following are four signs that could very well confirm your suspicions.
1 – A Change in Appearance
If your wife has gone through a change in appearance, it could be a sign that she is cheating on you. What you will want to look for is small, but significant changes in appearance.
For example, has she always worn glasses but has all of a sudden opted for contact lenses? Has your wife recently started showing more skin? Dressing provocatively is a common sign of cheating, especially if your wife typically dresses conservatively. Switching perfumes or wearing it more often can be another sign of cheating. This can be done to impress a new man or to cover up another man’s scent.
2 – A Change in Affection
A change in the amount of affection that your wife gives you could be seen as a sign of having an affair.
For example, has your love life been happy and healthy in the past? Was your relationship filled with fun, adventure, and great sex? If so, has that changed? If your wife no longer compliments you as she did before or does something as simple as pull away during a kiss, an affair may be going on. Many cheating women try to avoid close contact with their husbands in fear of getting caught or letting their guilt show.
3 – Secrecy
A wife becoming more secretive can often point to an extramarital affair.
For example, does your wife spend too much time on the phone or the internet? If so, what does she say when you ask her what she is doing? If you receive a “nothing,” or a “not your business,” response, something may be going on.
In keeping with phone and internet use, does your wife automatically hang-up the phone whenever you walk into a room? Does she shut off the computer or try to block your view of it? If so, your wife’s secrecy may mean that she is trying to cover up an affair.
4 – Changes in Bills
One of the simplest ways to catch a cheating wife is to start paying your bills.
In most relationships, this is the woman’s responsibility, but make it yours. Examine your wife’s cell phone bills. Does it show what phone numbers are called or what numbers text messages and pictures are received from? Also, closely examine credit card bills. Are there expenses listed for hotel rooms, vacations, restaurants, or anything else that you have no idea about? If so, your wife may be cheating on you.
The above mentioned signs are just a few of the many that you will want to look for in a cheating wife. If you think that your wife is cheating on you, just be sure to keep your eyes and ears open. Unfortunately for the cheaters, they often make mistakes. Many women get so comfortable, that they slip up at one time or another. If you know what to look for, this is when you may be able to catch your wife cheating.
If you do find out that your wife is cheating on you, you may want to carefully approach the subject. Never confront your wife in front of your children. No matter how angry you are, do not get violent and try to keep your voice at a reasonable level. As hard as it can be, calming approaching the situation can better allow you and your wife to have an honest discussion. This where you can decide what will happen you to and your relationship next.
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