We Were Turned On By Super Loud Neighbor Sex! 

My boyfriend was staying over the other night and we had gone to bed after having dinner. We were both busy at work earlier in the week so we weren't really in the mood. Well, in the middle of the night, he shakes me awake and when I woke up he whispered to "just listen." My next door neighbors were having super loud sex! My apartment walls are thin so sometimes I can hear their TV but I've never heard them doing that! We giggled about it and then we found ourselves kind of turned on! We started making out and then one thing led to another. But we weren't at all as loud as my neighbors—at least, I don't think we were because they were quiet by the time we were finished..!

Do You Get Turned On When Your Neighbors Have Sex?
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Are Your Neighbors Banging Their Headboard On The Wall? 

One night, on a vacation with our friends, my husband and I felt a bit frisky. Unbeknownst to us, the headboard was banging against the wall, making quite the raucous.

The next morning, our friends opened the conversation with a hilarious joke about the racket — it made us all laugh out loud. There was no shaming or pointing fingers, just a bit of poking fun.

There is no better way to address an uncomfortable situation than with good wit. The next time you run into your neighbors, flash a smile, and couple it with a lighthearted comment that addresses the issue.

Something like, “You two seem to have quite the healthy sex life! How do you have the energy?! By the time the kids go to bed, we are too exhausted.” They’ll get the point, and you’ll have saved face in the process.

Do You Want To See What The Headboard Banging Neighbors Look Like Naked?
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Is it bad I masturbate while listening to the people next door have sex? 

I live in an apartment with stereotypical “thin walls” and with frequently noisy neighbors. This isn’t a complaint. I actually enjoy hearing them have sex and commonly masturbate while listening.

I recently had a friend over, during which time we overheard the neighbors going at it. My friend commented that it must be so annoying to have neighbors like that, but I confessed that I enjoyed it and would sometimes masturbate to it. My friend was very offended by this—she thought it was a massive invasion of the neighbors’ privacy and equated it to hiding in their closet.

My belief is that since the neighbors would understand the limited soundproofing of the building, they then concede the right to auditory privacy when they’re very loud. So as long as I am within the confines of my own apartment and not trying to actively record them or use some sort of sound-enhancing equipment, I have not invaded anyone’s privacy. Have I overstepped, or am I in the clear?

Want To See What The Neighbors Look Like Naked?
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7 Ways to Deal With Neighbors Who Have REALLY Loud Sex 

A friend was recently complaining about her lack of sleep. She lives in an apartment with two shared walls and one of those shared walls happens to be in her bedroom. The neighbors on the other side of that wall? A lovely couple who have the loudest sex ever.

As I have a good deal of experience in this funny area, I was only happy to help. Back when I first started blogging for Smitten (almost two years ago!) I told you dolls that my then neighbors liked to hoot and holler during their hooking up sessions. Which happened on the regular. I've since moved to the suburbs where I (happily) don't have to worry about being loud during sex or worse, listening to my neighbors get their freak on. Here are my favorite ways to deal with nookie-noisy neighbors:

1. Leave an anonymous passive aggressive sticky note on their front door. Something like, "Please keep it down when getting down. Some of us are trying to sleep at 3AM," should do the trick.

2. Find the most unsexy song or recording in your music library and play at full blast it with the speakers pressed up against your shared wall. I have a very riveting mp3 of one of my professors reading The Canterbury Tales. In Middle English. Other tunes to consider: holiday songs, books on CD, TV theme songs and soundtracks from musicals.

3. Invest in a box of comfy earplugs.

4. Whenever they get too loud, rearrange your furniture. Stomp around the house. Have a drum circle party with your favorite pots and wooden spoons. When they stop their noise making to listen—and they will—stop your noise making. When they start back up—and they will—follow suit and get noisy again. Repeat. Another variation worth giving a go: friend used to bounce super balls off the common wall until his neighbors stopped shouting their dirty talk.

5. Fight fire with fire. Have equally loud sex. (See Forgetting Sarah Marshall for some fun tips on this technique) Or just make loud sexy sounds. Even if it doesn't work, projecting your grunting and moaning is sure to make you giggle.

6. Try a sound machine.

7. If it's not too weird (honestly, though, no matter how you shake it's going to be weird), say something to a member of the couple in the common areas of your building. You could try something like, "The walls in the building are so thin aren't they? I always hear everything, don't you? Someone should really tell Mr. Perkins in 3B that he needs to turn down the TV during Top Shot. Doesn't it drive you crazy how loud our neighbors can be? Especially late at night?"

Of course we should be happy for those having awesomely loud sex on a regular basis but when your own sleep gets interrupted by raucous rolls in the hay, drastic measures are occasionally necessary.

Have you ever had neighbors who have ridiculously loud sex? How'd you deal? I was a big fan of stomping around the apartment (my loud neighbors lived below me) in heels or boots. Or maybe you've been the noisy neighbor?

Here's How To Use #Hashtags and The Dark Web To Find Out Who Your Neighbors Are.  
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